OK, here goes. This is the last post I upload before ‘going live’! Andymorganwrites will be born sometime tomorrow…breach, Cesarean, gas and every unholy drug under the sun! The truth is I’ve been working manically, obsessively, unreasonably, nerdishly on this damn website for about a week now. I’ve climbed mountains, believe me. Before I started I was just a net tourist…familiar with nice sunny easy places like Amazon, Google, Facebook, Twitter, Spotify, and various well thought out and planned sites, whose construction was possibly the bane of someone else’s life but definitely not mine. In this Hobbiton landscape I could stroll at my leisure, clicking idly on this or that button that invariably worked, looking, reading, listening and generally having a balmy time.
But since then I’ve SEEN THE DARK SIDE! Yes sir. I’ve see the dank rotten underbelly of the internet…the code jungle, the geek mire, the slough of digital despond. This is where the wiring is, and IT WILL EAT YOU UP, believe me. It’s a geek universe full of dead ends, terminology you’ll never understand, buttons that don’t work, terrible impenetrable explanations, very little help, very little plain English and just instability everywhere. I’d exclude WordPress itself from this bleak assessment. I think it’s an incredible tool. It’s all the plungins, widgets, addons, bits and pieces, the php help sites, the xml chat rooms, the hacker basements. Of course, the real internet warriors spend all their time down there. They love it. And they fight the chaos for us, on our behalf, just so that we can surf the net with the general illusion that it’s a tidy, smooth, rational place.
My eyes have gone fuzzy and square. They’re emitting the white noise from my brain to the serious alarm of my better half and my little boy. Hopefully, from here on in, I’ll only have to write text in plain English and click on ‘publish’, with a little fiddling with photos and videos thrown in. And hopefully it’ll be a sunny balmy relaxed ride for you. Enjoy the meal…but don’t visit the kitchens!
Andy Morgan, (c) 2010